Seeing Life Through A Distorted Lens

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There are 7 billion people in this world who view life through their own distorted lens. Little do we know what is going on inside their heads. We are conditioned to see life from our own subjective self. Being able to view day to day life and other’s lives is quite difficult, since this requires us to be objective in our thoughts.

We can create a prison-like scenario in our minds with our thoughts almost to the point of strangulation. It is like a snake toiling around and the more you think, the grip gets tighter. I can speak from experience that we can become so caught up in our thoughts and assume that we are the only ones who suffer.

The vast majority of these 7 billion people go through this daily and are unable to put themselves in the shoes of others. We were created to hunt and survive. There was no inkling to learn empathy. We are also very egocentric, which causes us to be very self centered in our thoughts. This makes it difficult for us to consider the feelings of others.

Instead of wallowing in your own self, think about what others may be going through. We all have issues, which we are conflicted about. But the most important thing is how we process these thoughts. By remaining in this ‘me, myself and I’ mode, you will remain in a stasis. You will also prevent yourself from growing and gaining the necessary experience to ground yourself in life.

This is also a sign of not appreciating what you have in your own life. Once you start to show gratitude then you may eventually start seeing things differently. During our life, we were not taught how to understand others and their feelings. We have gone through life idealising people rather than getting to know people for who they really are.

In some of my relationships and friendships, I have realized over time that I never got to know these people and what they are really like. At the same time, I was misunderstood. Ever wondered why friendships, relationships and families fall apart? The simple answer is because there is no understanding.

Back to the subject of empathy, equipping yourself with such a characteristic can benefit you considerably throughout your life. You will become better at reading signs and understanding others around you. We are less likely to take life for granted when we can put ourselves in the shoes of others.

There is a high trend of people who choose to escape their issues, but believe me this is not the answer. You have to approach your issues head on. Our issues can follow us until we are forced to work on them. Do not allow your issues to grow into something bigger than they really are. Put the snake to sleep!

This may cross your mind, but how could I empathize with someone who put themselves in this position? We have all, unwittingly, at some point in our life ended up in a situation, which could have been avoided. But this way of thinking is regressive. More importantly, if you were going through the motions of what the person in question is going through, then you would think, how can I move forward? I feel that we are being guided metaphysically. Even in scenarios, which could have been prevented in hindsight, we were meant to go through them to be taught valuable life lessons. If I were you, I would leave the ego at the door and show some understanding.

Here’s a little tip. The next time someone comes to you with their issues, take a step back and listen. Also, step outside of your thoughts for a minute and do not project your situation on them. Try to understand them and show compassion and kindness. You will be surprised how far this will go. Be mindful when you give them your opinion. Only until you know someone well enough can you give direct and honest advice. To this very day, I am learning the hard way.

Learning more about the surroundings of others will help you to offer the appropriate support. These points are the key in helping you to better understand the needs of others you welcome into your life.

 

By Caroline Peart

©All Rights Reserved

 

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There’s No Excuse For Abuse

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Ever felt completely powerless in a situation where you could not protect yourself?
I know this feeling since I have been in this familiar place before. This is like being in a prison where you cannot break free. You are holding onto the bars with all this force, desperately calling out for help, but no one can can hear you. This, I am afraid, is what it is like to be involved in a scenario with an abusive person whether it’s physical or emotional.

Abuse can occur in any aspect of your life. For many of us, it is being able to shield ourselves from these toxic scenarios. Little do we know whether a person can be abusive or not. Yes, red flags can be evidence, but this may not be enough for us to walk away for good. We only really find out when we get particularly close with the people in question. The moment they become comfortable, the mask comes off and the true colors remain.

When we first exchange words with someone who has the potential to be abusive, we are unable to recognize or interpret the signs. I and many others have not been educated in this. I am afraid that schools today do not teach us how to deal with toxic situations and identify who has good intentions or not amongst a plethora of things. This causes us to crash and burn instead. We learn the hard way through our mistakes.

Abuse does not begin during the first encounter. It can develop half way through and once the victim is completely immersed. The abuser scouts its victims and sticks their claws in when ready. Beware of the comments and especially the frequency. If an unkind comment is thrown your way, we respond accordingly and brush away. However, if this becomes continuous then this is not acceptable. No human being should have to tolerate this behavior ever.

What is not discussed often is the perspective of the abuser. How do they perceive the situation? We are not born to be abusers and neither is the abuser. Any unresolved incidents involving certain feelings can be carried through life. These feelings can be mirrored into their relationships with others. These feelings include a classic feeling of disappointment where the abuser has experienced disappointment in their own life. Shall the other person do something which doesn’t agree with them, this will trigger off these thoughts. This will instantly give them a so called right to hold this action against the other person. Abusers like to feel entitled, but no one is entitled; we all have to earn and work hard to earn respect. This feeling of entitlement can come from being given what they always wanted during their childhood. Low self esteem is very much linked to being in control and hurting others to make themselves feel better. This is short lived. The victim will catch on quickly and leave. Deadly high levels of jealously, which they describe as caring, can suffocate the victim and make them feel boxed in. I remember whoever I befriended caused issues, since when is it anyone’s choice about who I spend my time with? Yet this raises hairs for abusers, since this makes them feel insecure. As discussed, here are some of the many traits which cause people to be abusers.

Since they lack empathy, they have an inability to put themselves in the shoes of others so they are unable to see life objectively. Whenever they abuse, they will never stop to see things from your perspective. So please do not persuade them to adopt this approach as it will never happen. An abusive person can change, but only if they want too. This should not your responsibility. You could spend a very long time trying to achieve an outcome which may never happen.

What I have learnt is that whenever you are involved in a situation such as this, do not allow yourself to suffer in silence. Surround yourself with people who can help you. There are people who can support and guide you to leave this situation and move onto better things. Do not let the person who abuses you reduce you until you cannot do anything; especially before he or she gets physical. A few years ago, my ex and I were arguing in the car and he accused me of not caring about him and laid a hand on me. It was absolutely horrifying! He quickly said, ‘sorry baby’ and then said ‘you make me like this’ etc. For a good while after, I could not stop picturing the incident and we ended our relationship shortly after. The signs were so obvious months earlier, but I thought if I could change myself it would work. How naive could I be! You should never have to change yourself for someone. This is the sign that the person you are involved with is really not suitable.

My advice to you all is not to hang in a situation which is dragging you down. Your wellbeing is what really matters at the end of the day. The earlier you cut ties, the less damaging it will be to your own mental self. We cannot remain in an illusion and not face up to reality. The truth is we only get one shot at life and this can flash quickly in front of us. Focus on yourself and welcome the good into your life and flush out the negative.

 

By Caroline Peart

©All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Future Of Law: Move Over Corporate, Hello Intellectual Property

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For many years, people have had careers in the legal industry and, more specifically, in corporation law. This market has become saturated and is already at risk from automation.

 

How could this industry be transformed for the better?

By removing the unnecessary and monotonous tasks, which can be done by an algorithm. This will free time for more complex projects. Instead, firms can focus on building their clientele and establishing more of an online presence.

 

Reduce costs

Firms can cut their overheads considerably, particularly, by not having to employ people to complete low level tasks.

 

Firms can potentially work virtually

Would it be possible for lawyers to work remotely instead of turning up to the office? Yes, I believe the future will allow us to be in our offices virtually thanks to emerging and new technologies like virtual reality. We could just remain at home and the office will come to us.

 

A greater need for an online presence

I believe the future trajectory of law firms will be to focus on building a sole online presence and exiting the whole onsite environment.

 

Is freelancing the future for lawyers?

Could more lawyers work directly for clients? Many are still sceptical as they rely on financial security. Once we gain more certainty, I believe increasing numbers of lawyers will start taking this route.

 

Transition into an Idea economy

This will open up a brand new industry for legal advisors. They say ideas are worthless, but more protection will be needed. When a large majority of our society will start creating groundbreaking things, people will search for advice.

 

The need to rewrite laws

With the introduction of robots and automation, laws will need to be rewritten to accommodate for both employees and robots. The rights of both will need to be made clear in order to avoid confusion and conflict. The fact that laws need to be rewritten creates more opportunities and expansion for many firms.

 

A deluge of patent creations

I predict that there will be a massive increase of people choosing to patent their products or services. In essence, a large focus will be placed around intellectual property. More legal advisors will be required to help people create the right patents and trademarks.

 

Understanding the sharing economy

Legal advisors will be needed to explain how this economy works and what ownership rights people have. In a sharing economy, there is less of a focus on ownership rights and more of a focus on license holders.

 

The introduction of license holders

Will we be required to apply for certain licenses in the future in order to protect ourselves and what we create? For example, will a person who creates music via an AI program have the rights or will it be the person who produces the software for the program who has the rights? This is a path our society will eventually take.

 

Reform of law education

There should be a change in how future law will be taught. Students must be informed of how the latest technology can benefit their profession. This is very important in order to avoid confusion and a reality shock. A large emphasis on intellectual property must be enforced so students can see how much potential there is and what they can do to better assist our society.

 

 

By Caroline Peart

(c)All Rights Reserved