Don’t Hang On To Your Ego

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Have you been through event which you just cannot move past? Do these thoughts constantly go round and round in your head? You feel like you are in a never ending vortex and the toxicity is sickening. It is generating more pain and suffering for you rather than the other person.

For the past few months, I have found myself just circling and moving back and forth. It’s quite simply exhausting and stressful. I am still processing some relationships, which came to an abrupt end and one where I have no clue what the current status is. Nonetheless, I have been dwelling and constantly drained! Someone the other day said to me, ‘just get over it, she clearly doesn’t want to know you’. Ok, I get it, but I feel like something keeps holding me back.

I have been holding onto past memories with these people, knowing that we do not share these memories anymore. We desperately want to resurrect the past and enjoy the times we had. I guess I fear that if I let go, I may not experience these times again, but this is not true. Holding onto memories will only be a reminder that we need to let go. We should not hold ourselves back from welcoming new partnerships either. A part of me was also wishing that in the future we may reconcile. But to be honest, there is no point clinging onto the future either. Since, our happiness does not lie with the people in question. We create our own happiness.

Our ego can be our worst enemy, since it constantly reminds us of how it wants to feel appreciated and loved. For the ego to be happy, it feels better to hang onto any situation, which is not good for us. What the ego loves the most is to feel better than anyone else. But we are all equal on an even playing field. There is no such thing as superiority and inferiority. This is just a complex created by our loveable friend; our ego.

In this case, it’s not the person in mind you cannot let go of, but the ego making things very difficult to move forward. Once you accept that this is the case, it becomes easier for you to see the situation more clearly and objectively. You can manage and control the ego and it’s feelings. Avoiding the past does not help you move on. It instead makes you desire for things to stay the same. Acceptance will bring you peace and help you to view memories with positivity rather than sadness.

With regard to the future, the person may not be in it, but that is ok. You can still be happy and open to new adventures. When we cling onto the future, does it mean you would have been happy on that path? Everything happens for a reason. All the people we meet are there to teach us a thing or two about ourselves.

Dealing with the ego, whenever something does not work out, will make us feel bad about it so we blame ourselves incessantly. Now we have to control it to not allow it to get the better of us. The ego wants us to pick faults in others and envy them too. It is ok to accept when you have been wrong and to apologise. This shows that you have a moral compass. I have learnt that I am not perfect and I am certainly not always right. Taking responsibility for my mistakes has helped me. I am working working on the above and getting better. It is worth setting your mind on becoming content to quiet down the chattering of the ego.

There are ways in which you can move past. Release the negative feeling, which is attached to the person. This negativity is only affecting you and not the other person. In order to do this, you must connect with your subconscious and not your conscious brain. Last night, I wrote a number of letters explaining how I felt to each and every one of those people and read them back to myself then tore the letters up. I let go and received peace. This was therapeutic. I highly recommend it.

Get rid of objects, which remind you of the people causing you pain and free up space in your life for new people. Remember that you are doing this to help yourself move on. In order to avoid any further negative feelings, write down what you are looking for in your life and use this as a guide for new relationships. Focus on introducing good and new energy into your life. Write down what makes you happy and alive!

 

By Caroline Peart

©All Rights Reserved

 

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Seeing Life Through A Distorted Lens

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There are 7 billion people in this world who view life through their own distorted lens. Little do we know what is going on inside their heads. We are conditioned to see life from our own subjective self. Being able to view day to day life and other’s lives is quite difficult, since this requires us to be objective in our thoughts.

We can create a prison-like scenario in our minds with our thoughts almost to the point of strangulation. It is like a snake toiling around and the more you think, the grip gets tighter. I can speak from experience that we can become so caught up in our thoughts and assume that we are the only ones who suffer.

The vast majority of these 7 billion people go through this daily and are unable to put themselves in the shoes of others. We were created to hunt and survive. There was no inkling to learn empathy. We are also very egocentric, which causes us to be very self centered in our thoughts. This makes it difficult for us to consider the feelings of others.

Instead of wallowing in your own self, think about what others may be going through. We all have issues, which we are conflicted about. But the most important thing is how we process these thoughts. By remaining in this ‘me, myself and I’ mode, you will remain in a stasis. You will also prevent yourself from growing and gaining the necessary experience to ground yourself in life.

This is also a sign of not appreciating what you have in your own life. Once you start to show gratitude then you may eventually start seeing things differently. During our life, we were not taught how to understand others and their feelings. We have gone through life idealising people rather than getting to know people for who they really are.

In some of my relationships and friendships, I have realized over time that I never got to know these people and what they are really like. At the same time, I was misunderstood. Ever wondered why friendships, relationships and families fall apart? The simple answer is because there is no understanding.

Back to the subject of empathy, equipping yourself with such a characteristic can benefit you considerably throughout your life. You will become better at reading signs and understanding others around you. We are less likely to take life for granted when we can put ourselves in the shoes of others.

There is a high trend of people who choose to escape their issues, but believe me this is not the answer. You have to approach your issues head on. Our issues can follow us until we are forced to work on them. Do not allow your issues to grow into something bigger than they really are. Put the snake to sleep!

This may cross your mind, but how could I empathize with someone who put themselves in this position? We have all, unwittingly, at some point in our life ended up in a situation, which could have been avoided. But this way of thinking is regressive. More importantly, if you were going through the motions of what the person in question is going through, then you would think, how can I move forward? I feel that we are being guided metaphysically. Even in scenarios, which could have been prevented in hindsight, we were meant to go through them to be taught valuable life lessons. If I were you, I would leave the ego at the door and show some understanding.

Here’s a little tip. The next time someone comes to you with their issues, take a step back and listen. Also, step outside of your thoughts for a minute and do not project your situation on them. Try to understand them and show compassion and kindness. You will be surprised how far this will go. Be mindful when you give them your opinion. Only until you know someone well enough can you give direct and honest advice. To this very day, I am learning the hard way.

Learning more about the surroundings of others will help you to offer the appropriate support. These points are the key in helping you to better understand the needs of others you welcome into your life.

 

By Caroline Peart

©All Rights Reserved

 

Why It’s Good For The Soul To Be Happy In Your Own Skin

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At some point in our lives, we go through the motions of feeling unsure about ourselves. This causes us to doubt how we feel in our own skin. We then wish we could be like others. The reality is far from this.

For many years, I was stuck in a vicious cycle when I was battling with a low degree of self-worth, negative thinking and a real lack of self-love. I could not navigate myself around these issues, which made it difficult for me to look introspectively. If I were aware earlier about these issues, I would have made the necessary change. Our society pressurises us to be a certain way and this ultimately makes us feel inadequate when we are unable to measure up. However, we have the power to step away from these outside influences. At the end of the day, each one of us perceives life in a different way. The majority of the time, we perceive life through a distorted lens.

We do not realise how much energy we spend and lose by measuring up our self-worth against that of others. The moment you become comfortable and happy in your skin, you will feel less of a need to compare. We are all unique in our individual skins. This makes us who we are. Just writing this makes me reflect on the time when I desperately tried to impress people. I did this almost to the point where I became exhausted. Social media sites are a curse to those who are not comfortable in their own skin, since they view life via what they see on these sites.

I did not realise that for most of my life, I had all of the tools inside me. It’s just that I never addressed them. Being happy with who you are in your own skin also correlates with getting to know yourself.

 

Look out for you

One of the very first things you must do is to look out for you, since you are living for you and no one else. Do not neglect yourself, because this will make it challenging for you to appreciate yourself. I have been there myself and it’s not a good feeling if you do not put your needs first. Your quest for being happy for yourself will remain a constant struggle.

 

Make friends with yourself

Whilst reading this, you might think, why would I want to befriend myself? Well this is a very good point to raise! The relationship one has with ourself sets the tone for all the others. We identify aspects of ourself, which we may not ever have known before. If I were to look back, I wouldn’t have wanted to be my friend. I was not happy and I projecting the worst of myself. However, now I feel very comfortable with myself so I would befriend myself. It’s all about good vibes now!

 

Focus on things which make you feel good

Do you enjoy reading or playing music? These are two activities out of many others. Little do we know that when we do things which make us happy, this reflects a lot about us. When we decide to do activities which we feel good about, this shows that we are doing what is good for us and not what others want. We have a tendency to say yes to taking part in activities which do not make us feel good, because we are afraid to say no. When we face this, it shows a reflection of how we are truly feeling. In some of my friendships, I went along with activities which I didn’t like because of the way I viewed myself.

 

Learn to appreciate yourself

We are all individual and each one of us has something unusual about ourselves. We should learn to love these characteristics about ourselves and embrace them rather than suppress them. This makes us who we are and will help you appreciate yourself. If someone tells you something which they do not like about you, this is a reflection of them since they do not appreciate themselves. Avoid seeking validation from others. Since this is very short lived and in the long run this is not good for you! I remember being told that I had this self deprecating trait and agonized over it. This made me rather sad so I tried to change in order to be accepted. Never do this. If they do not like it, just ignore them and continue on with your life.

 

Reduce the need to think too much about others’ thoughts of you

When I have focused too much of my energy on what others thought of me, I slowly came to the conclusion that not everyone will view you in the way you would like. To be honest, there is nothing you can do about this. This is a fact of life! These feelings of self-doubt stem from the perceptions which we hold of ourselves. In order to move forward, just be you as there is only one you!

 

To round off, uplift your soul rather than pump it down. Aim to be happy with you and enjoy yourself and what you can bring to this life. Preserve your energy and remember what is yet to come and not what has been!

 

By Caroline Peart

(c)All Rights Reserved

5 Ways To Help You Attract Good Things Into Your Life

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As we go through our daily lives, we sometimes do not take a step back and review what we have which makes us feel good. It is easier to dwell on what doesn’t make us feel good! Why is this so? We tend to find excuses when an aspect of our life does not go our way. I went through a period like this in my life where I was not attracting positive things towards me. We tend to forget that when we surround ourselves with positivity, we feel better and our perception of life changes for the better.

When we see others going through a positive time, we instantly compare ourselves with them and analyse every single detail. Then we will worry ourselves and wonder why this hasn’t happened to us. The behaviors mentioned above are not conducive to living a healthy and balanced life. Never compare yourself to others. You never know exactly what these people are going through.

As I mentioned in one of my previous pieces, your energy level can dictate what comes your way. The more we generate our level of consciousness and awareness, we will better understand our energy levels. If we generate positive vibes then the chances of good things happening will be much higher! This is a good start towards managing ones thoughts.

 

Practice gratitude

The moment you start to appreciate what you have, you will begin to view your life with a more open mind. Show appreciation to others. Recognise mistakes from past experiences. Enjoy what you currently have in the present. Acknowledge what you are grateful for. Write down what you are grateful for when you wake up. You will be able to deal with life better when you accept and appreciate what you have.

 

Be optimistic

Optimism generates high energy levels and points us in the right direction when it comes to achieving our goals. This helps us to see opportunities even when we are in difficulty. When we display this energy, anything will be possible. Life is too short to not be optimistic, since you do not know what is round the corner.

 

Find your purpose

Knowing exactly what you would like to do will help you attract good vibes. If you are unsure about what you want out of life, this can bring you closer to negativity rather than towards positivity. It took me a few years to find out exactly what I wanted to do. Lots of pain and fears were experienced during this time, but I do not regret going through this as it has helped me grow into the person I am today. Especially now, as I have finally figured out my purpose. We all become driven and determined when we have goals in mind. So if you are going through this, keep going.

 

Be more forgiving

In life, it’s not worth holding grudges against others even if it causes us pain. The best thing we can do is to let go and accept. I know it’s easier said then done but you will feel better for it. This can be in regards to events over which you have no control over. Don’t let this make you feel bitter. Instead, take the life lesson away and learn from it. Give yourself the opportunity to grow and develop. At the end of the day, only you are living your life, no one else!

 

Smile and realise there is no need for control

Smiling makes yourself and others feel instantly happy. We should all be smiling more since it’s great for our wellbeing. People who love to smile are drawn more to others. This is fact! Being in high spirits is awesome! Accept that in life there is no need for constant control.

 

By Caroline Peart

(c)All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Easy Ways To Help You Live In The Now

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So many of us struggle to live within the present moment since we think too much about what will happen in the future instead of enjoying what we have right now.
We do not realise that we can miss out on potential opportunities when we do not focus on the now. Our society has conditioned us to think ahead and plan our lives in advance. This has put a lot of pressure on us often causing us to think negatively, which is not conducive to living a happy and balanced life.

It’s not so easy to tell another person to live in the present, especially if they have been wired to think a certain way for the majority of their life. I was advised to do exactly this, but found it quite difficult. I would aim to live in the present, but would fall by the wayside by thinking too much about the future. Fear can hold us back from being at peace in order to enjoy the present.

 

Accept that you cannot control everything in life

The past has been and the future is yet to come. We literally have no control over these two factors. The last thing you would want to do is agonize over them. Life is short and should be enjoyed. What you can take away from the past are the life lessons and ensure that you do not make the same mistakes. You want to better prepare yourself for what is yet to come.

 

Time to look introspectively

This is actually one of the best times to get to know oneself when you start addressing past behaviors, which stop you from living in the present. You will start to see things as trivial and not so important anymore. Looking introspectively helps you become more conscious and aware of your thoughts. The more you understand your thoughts, the easier you will find it to live in the present. This was one of the reasons why I could not live in the present since I was unable to identify myself and my thoughts.

 

No more stress and anxiety

Did you know that when you focus on the now and make the most of it, your levels of stress will reduce drastically. This is due to the fact that you just live instead of overthinking. We will think about the next 5 minutes instead of the next 5 years. When we stop worrying and stressing, we extend the longevity of our lives. For a good proportion of my life, I worried myself aimlessly and ended up being sick many times as a result. Once you start practicing enjoying the now, your life will improve for the better.

 

Accept the fact that things may not go your way as expected

In life, we can plan as much as we would like too. But bear in mind that these plans may not follow through in the way you would like them too. In this day and age, it’s great to be flexible to plan change in order to not get disappointed. There are outcomes which we cannot control. Do note that if plans change, do not take the changes personally as the changes may not have anything to do with you. I have learnt that you just have to continue on and keep living.

 

Generating positivity and happiness

Ever since I started meditating, I focus fully on the present and generating good vibes. I believe that enjoying the present can help you become happier. At the end of the day, happiness is a choice but if we think positively this will help you generate happiness. We will finally be at peace too. Again, be mindful of what is happening around you. We all have the capability to live in the present, but we need to see the positives in order to follow this through.

 

In closing, I will leave you all with another piece of friendly advice. Do not feel afraid to let go and live some moments just for you! Enjoy your life the way you would like to and not how others would like you to live your life. We all have our own subjective perceptions, but do not let them control you. Be a free spirit instead!

 

By Caroline Peart

(c)All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

Know your energy

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Ever wondered why things are not going the way you would like them to? I know this feeling since I only started addressing this rather recently. I always wondered why things in my life went pear-shaped. When you wake up in the morning, you make a choice about which feeling you wish to adopt for the day. This feeling dictates your mood for the day, but you can change this.

We can go through our lives not realising the impact our energy has on others. If you show feel-good vibes around other people, then this will bring them closer to you. But how can this be achieved?

Raising your level of awareness and consciousness would be a good start. Since the sooner you start understanding these two aspects, you will be able to relate to why certain things keep happening in your life.

You can change your perception of life, as only you can generate this vision and no one else. Why do we get so caught up in a certain vision? This is due to the fact that we expect life to be a certain way. But the reality is far from this this.

There are incidents in life, which we have no control over. The best thing you can do is accept and forgive. We cannot spend our days seeking answers if they are never going to come. We have all been a victim of this before.

My advice is that when you see the signs, do not get worried just aim to process and move on accordingly. Once we become more aware of different energy levels then this will be an indication for us.

 

Why do we not pay attention to energy levels?

We have a tendency in our lives to not address what is going on inside ourselves. This ultimately makes us unaware of what we are going through. Our behaviours are aligned with our emotions. Fear and judgement can prevent us from identifying our own faults. In the end, we blame others for our own mistakes. It is important that we do not get so caught up in the thoughts that others may have of us. All people perceive in the way they would like but should this bother us? No, not really.

Other peoples’ thoughts of us are only a reflection of their own. However, the more you tune into yourself, the easier it will become to block out these thoughts.

 

Below are 7 ways which can help you to raise your energy level:

 

Meditation

This is one of the best ways to tune into yourself. I never used to meditate until very recently. After having been advised to take it up, it really does work. The reason why I never got involved in meditation was because I was unable to see the benefits. There are times in life where you have to give things a go. Regarding meditation, you only have to dedicate at least 10 minutes a day. I highly recommend meditating in the morning.

 

Listening to a feel good song

After I meditate, I put on a song which makes me happy. This then brings up the energy level even higher. Also, try to loosen up when you are listening to the song as this generates all the feel-good vibes.

 

Sharing humour

This can also raise the energy level. Cracking a few jokes can put us in a great mood too.

 

Declutter your life

Living lighter can you help you to understand your thoughts better. If we live in a mess, then we are less likely to view our thoughts from a point of clarity. This is like closing one chapter and making room for the next one.

 

Practice forgiveness

We all have a tendency to hang on to past events, which drag us down instead of lifting us up.

 

Take responsibility for your actions

For a long time, I avoided not taking control of my life, which led to me making a number of reckless decisions. I realised that I was approaching these situations from a level of low energy. Note that you cannot avoid not taking control of your life. The moment you take responsibility, your energy levels will increase.

 

Becoming mindful of your thoughts

Identifying the positive from the negative will help you to make the most out of your days. I know it’s easier said than done but it will help you to focus better. Focusing on the positive is a great way to filter out the thoughts which bring your energy levels down.

 

All of these tips above can act as guidance to help you achieve the maximum energy vibrations. We all want energy bliss in our lives. Being more mindful will enable us to get there.

 

By Caroline Peart

(c)All Rights Reserved

 

Timing is the best friend you could ever have

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This subject has been on my mind for a while now. We all wonder, what does timing actually mean to us? Timing can be defined differently by so many.

I reflected quite recently and thought, why are we making decisions at certain times?

Timing is something quite wonderful. After a long period of searching comes this warm and glowing sun, which paves a pathway in the ocean for us to walk down. For many of us, we expect to be at our destination a lot quicker than anticipated. In life we cannot rush, we just have to go with the tide.

When does timing really make sense?

 

Making peace with the past

Still to this day, I am working on making peace with my past, since you cannot do much to change what has happened previously. We all tend to hold some resentment towards what may have scarred us up until now. There is a reason why the past is called the past and not the present. We learn from this and move forward with the aim to make the present and future better for us.

 

Becoming a better person

This is your opportunity to work on making yourself better and becoming the person you want to be. Some of us want this to happen straight away but you cannot force this. You will see yourself evolve.

 

Healing opportunity

We all have wounds which are quite raw and we constantly rub salt into them. Now is your time to reflect and close the chapters associated with these wounds.

 

Turning negative thinking into positive thinking

The moment you rewire your way of thinking, life will start looking brighter. You will leave a place of darkness and regain control of your life. Nothing lasts forever unless you let it. I am very familiar with this feeling as I am currently coming out of an energy zap.

 

Reconnecting with others

There may come times in your life where we may feel disconnected from others. This is a natural part of life. It is important to give these situations space and time to let people reconnect and align. Note that later on in your life, you may realise that this was of the best things you ever could have done.

 

The moment everything falls into place

You will look back and realise that you had to go through lots of ups and downs in order to get to where you are now. This experience not only made you stronger, but more the wiser. As I mentioned before, after lots of trial and error comes a golden period. The moment this period arrives, your life will proceed like lightning. This energy will be electrifying. You will find that everything you have ever worked hard towards will pay off.

 

Moments of confusion are short lived and will not last. The most important thing is to keep going and push through the pain. It is so easy to drop off, but know that in the long run, the heavens opening is only round the corner. Your bliss is coming and be ready for it!

 

By Caroline Peart

(c)All Rights Reserved