Each day goes by and I wonder when is this feeling of darkness going to end?!
Regularly, we go through our life with highs and lows like a rollercoaster. You wake up and the ride begins gradually moving up and descending down again. Rollercoasters have this thrill factor about them, which can be exhilarating but also scary. This can also be compared to how we feel on a daily basis.
We seem to struggle to maintain this positive feeling and have a tendency to let any little hiccup get in the way of how we feel. This also applies to the way we deal with our problems. For many years, I found it quite difficult to face up to my issues, which ultimately followed me everywhere I went. I made the choice to remain in darkness and not see the light.
As you can imagine in my rollercoaster analogy, the moment you descend lower, it can be an incredibly painful time and quite dark. When we become too consumed in our issues then we will start to push away everyone around us. Since we instantly think that no one will understand us. This causes us to think that no one can ever help us. Pushing away the ones who care is really not the best solution. The pain we create in our wake will become sharper and damaging to the ones around us and ourselves.
During part of 2014 and most of 2015 and 2016, I was involved in a relationship which had tremendous highs and lows. Friends and family were very concerned about my wellbeing, but I could not see clearly as I was as congested as a foghorn. I snapped at anyone who told me what I did not want to hear. Yes, I was selfish and self absorbed. I was unable to put myself in the shoes of others and creating pain to those surrounding me. But this was the lost and confused soul desperately trying to seek answers. We cannot really blame others or even ourselves for feeling this way. The only thing we can do is go through the motions.
When others come to us for advice, we should not push and only respect what they have to say. If we push those close to us then when they are ready, we may not hear from them again. At present, I am processing events which took place between myself and a “close” friend. We used to be quite close and then all of a sudden she ghosted me in May. At first, I didn’t quite understand the situation and only a few weeks into May I started to question what I may have potentially done. I attempted to make contact and sent her a nice email but I never received a reply. Then two nights ago, I bumped into her and it was quite painful. I received an answer, but whether it was the truth or not does not matter anymore. I received some kind of closure so I can move on.
I was able to draw in an interesting conclusion. The conversation her and I had mirrored what I had been going through previously. I thought that no one could help me and she claims this is the case for her too. But there is a support system for everyone. For many of us, we automatically assume that a support system can only be found in a family structure. This is not the case at all. We can choose our support system. This can be our friends, support groups, mentors, healers, therapists or even the church. There are people we can all resonate with and provide guidance so you are not alone.
There is no reason for anyone to suffer in silence. Amongst the 7 billion of people in this world, there must be similar minded individuals who are going through or have experienced the issues you are being faced with. We must not assume that everyone around us has not gone through pain. We all have or will at many different times in our lives assume this. Healing ourselves from these wounds will make us more mindful about what is yet to come. The last thing one can do is isolate themselves from the world and drown in their ocean of issues.
A support network is not only conducive when you are going through challenging times but also when you are in good spirits. We can all motivate and inspire each other to achieve our goals. It is comforting to know that their are people who have your best interests at heart. In light of recent events, I have felt inspired and compelled to create a support group in order to reach out to ones who are really in need. I would like to set an example to others that you are never alone! I have touched upon gratitude in my previous pieces as this is incredibly important. To place yourself outside of your problems for just a minute and appreciate the fact you are still breathing and can enjoy life is an amazing feeling!
One more tip before I round off. Before you start your day and go to sleep, simply remind yourself that there will always be somebody who will be looking out for you!
This applies to every single person out there.
By Caroline Peart
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