At some point in our life we have been reckless with our emotions, often throwing caution to the wind. We are also less likely to address our feelings and actions, meaning we make the same mistakes again and again. Eventually, this can cause us to have a breakdown and be in a period of stasis since in such a situation we don’t know how to proceed further. I have had my share of misfortune and pain as a consequence of not always being mindful of my emotions. The interesting fact is, we become less immature once we understand why we behave in certain ways.
If we do not understand our emotions then they can get the better of us. Accept that it is ok to feel sad, but realise that you will come out of it as it is only an emotion and you have the choice to change this thought.
We also have a higher chance of getting too attached to others when we fail to accept ourselves. This causes us to seek acceptance in others. Also, a lack of confidence causes us to react strongly to the most trivial things.
It is important to address our mistakes so we can change and evolve. At the end of the day, we would like to build deep and meaningful relationships with people, but with a higher level of awareness, we will be able to better maintain them.
Focus on the following areas to help you understand your emotions better;
Stop running away or escaping from your thoughts
You will need to address them to prevent them from growing into a mountain from a molehill. If we learn how to manage them then we can avoid overreacting and mismanaging.
Identify the reasons behind your emotions. For example, what causes you to feel sad?
Find the trigger, which causes you to feel this type of emotion. Unresolved past events can prove to be reasons for us to respond in certain ways. I know for myself, I had not forgiven what had happened. So I would be easily triggered and end up in an emotional mess. The fact is that you cannot change what has happened but you can accept it.
In life, accept that events may not go the way you had hoped. This does not mean that you have failed. So please do not misunderstand.
Write down your emotions
It can be quite amazing how writing down your emotions can benefit oneself. Some of us are better at expressing our emotions by writing them down than verbally. Truth be told, this is me. When I express myself by writing down my emotions, I feel like I am releasing any built up tension. It is not wise to bottle up feelings and emotions. I highly recommend trying this and then reading them back to yourself to process all internal pain and trauma.
Take a step back and review
Instead of diving head first into a situation, try listening to the other person’s thoughts. Put yourself in their shoes. This can help you respond accordingly.
Surrounding yourself with positivity
People with negative energies can rub off onto you. In order to help you move forward, be around people with a positive attitude. This will be a good start to encourage you to begin thinking in a more uplifting way. Taking up an activity which you will derive pleasure and satisfaction from will help you to generate positivity.
These are some of the ways, which you can adopt to help you on your way to better controlling your emotions. The sooner you start, your life will become more enjoyable and grounded.
By Caroline Peart
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